From Chaos to Order...every 6 weeks or so...

What a week it's been...school started Wednesday for Emily and Anna Marie - of course Anna is at Troy so it was just Em going through the "back to school" traditions.  Charlie doesn't start for another week and a half.  Our traditions have always been to set the table the night before and make waffles for the kids the first day of school.  Then the night before (as hard as I try I never seem to get it done earlier!) I make each child a personal card about their school year and also find some keepsake item to surprise them with.  For many years they got a keepsake along with a beanie babies when they were all the rage.  This year for Em it was cute notepads and musical dvds including "A Chorus Line."  The other tradition is the pictures on the steps and then at the bus stop.  In this case though, Em got in the car and drove off today.  Times have certainly changed.  Both first days for Em and Anna went well...both seem to like their classes and so far so good...

Through all this I've been trying to find the time to go through several bags of paperwork, stacks here and there...it's overwhelming and I kick myself every time it gets to this point.  Then, as I was going through my calendar to figure out when my last haircut appointment was...it hit me...I go through this every 6 weeks around the same time I get my hair cut!  WEIRD...  It's also about the time I schedule Lucy's grooming appointment.  I wonder if she feels disorganized too?!!

Adding to this is the fact that the weather has been close to 100 every single day for several weeks.  It's really getting old.  I'm just SO over this heat...upstairs in the house it's hot - the second floor never seems to get cool enough and yet the new roof was supposed to help with this.  I'm not sure what the situation is with that but husby has a call in to the roofing company about that and a couple other things.  But we aren't holding our breath for a quick resolution.  I hate to stereotype but like most of these contractors they get your money and move on and the "little" things that they promised to do - like fix the screen they poked holes in - gets put WAY down on their "to do" list. 

Oh..and add one more change in scheduling too...I've decided to start walking at night with Lucy.  This is my second week and it's been going pretty good!  Despite the heat and humidity, Lucy and I really need this and we walked for 30-45 minutes most nights last week.  This week we even had an hour walk!  Tonight we walked earlier because I HAVE to switch to mornings and tomorrow morning is the first day to try this.  Getting this out of the way first thing in the morning will also free my evenings up for other things.  Of course, it means going to bed earlier and that's going to take some getting used to!

As an added incentive I've found an online website to track my food and exercise and help keep me accountable so I can lose some weight.  It's been liberating the past two nights sitting down at the laptop and typing everything in to this space.  I felt a complete shift in how I'm thinking about my weight and instead of looking at how much weight I want to lose, I'm looking at what my goal is and how much I'm chopping away at it!  Of course, from one day to the next it was just 1 pound but maybe tomorrow it will be one more and then one more the next day...  I can pull up a chart with this site and see my progress.  It's amazing what you can find online these days...

Part of what I wanted to do this year was get my health in order and I think this is a good and serious start - after the surgery I had.  Now I need to get that hair appointment tomorrow and all will be right with the world!  Lucy already had her grooming appointment on Wednesday.  She's a little ahead of me in this process!

Another school year about to start...

School is about to start again.  I know the kids always say the summer went by too fast but for once I would have to agree with them!  I always loved this time of year, the organizing, buying school supplies and getting everyone back on track.  It's also the time of year when things really start to crank up for me at work and with my nonprofit work....well, more than usual anyway.  I'm trying not to get back on that treadmill though.  It's a challenge every day!  I still use it as an excuse to get myself organized for the second half of the year.

Anyway, back to school starting...Troy and Hoover both start on August 11th.  Sheldon State not far behind...  Everyone will be back in a routine - or so I hope...

Rachel and Anna in their newly decorated sorority house room!

I moved Anna Marie back to Troy on Friday.  It took two cars but I was surprised that we weren't packed to the hilt!  She did a great job of organizing everything and making sure containers were packed with the right stuff so all she had to do - for the most part - was place them in the correct spots in her sorority room.  The nice thing was knowing she would be back in the same room as last year and this year she has her friend Rachel rooming with her.  They are like two peas in a pod, they have similar style and so the room looked terrific when I left.  I don't know if she has seen the photos I've taken because she had to deactivate her facebook page in anticipation of sorority rush.  I had no sooner left her sorority house when she called to tell me this so I wouldn't be shocked!  I'm sure I would have figured it out but still...it was nice of her to call and tell me personally!  She has been excited about going back to school for over a week now.  I'm so glad she likes it at Troy.

This was definitely different than the move last year...when we ALL went down to Troy and helped her with the move into her dorm.  At one time - between Anna Marie and her roommate - I think we had about 15 people in that little room trying to get things organized!  This year it was just me and Anna and Rachel and her parents.  And when I left she didn't cry...she hugged me about 5 times but there was no crying...well, SHE didn't cry...

Charlie works on his car transmission.

Eddie registered Charlie for Shelton State this week.  Charlie took last semester off from Jeff State to figure things out.  He is now registered for the automotive program at Shelton and he is very excited about this.  Finally...studying something he wants to do for a living.  He has spent so much time this summer working on cars for friends and also his own - if he isn't tired of it by now then this is the right route for him to take!  He lives for cars!!!  And he will definitely have an early drive each day to Tuscaloosa for class - leaving the house at 6:30 a.m.! - but I think in this case the routine will be good for him.  I'm anxious to see how this goes for him.  I know he's ready...

Emily performs at the MCAT Showcase in July

Emily...Miss Emily...she is going to be a junior in high school this year.  She has an exciting and busy year ahead of her too.  She auditioned for Chamber Choir again and will be part of the TNT program at school.  This is also her first year to take a theatre class.  In addition, she is waiting to hear (by tomorrow) is she will be in a musical she auditioned for a few weeks back.  If she is, then rehearsals will start on Monday before school starts!  So the school year will start off with a bang for her...  I do hope she gets a part in the musical.  She spends so much time practicing and working on dance and music in her room.  She just cranks up that stereo and goes at it!  Sometimes I can hear her singing along and I just love that.  Meanwhile, we have some back to school shopping to do this weekend.

Yes...summer is about over.  I wish someone would tell Mother Nature though because this 90+ degree temperatures are really getting old!

Back in the Saddle...

It's been awhile...I spent 7 weeks at home recovering from surgery and staying as disconnected as possible from work and other things.  I had my place set up on the couch in the family room and the company of my sweet puppy Lucy.  It was wonderful...  After about two weeks I had friends saying to me "I'll be you are going crazy just sitting around and watching TV."  My response..."not really."

I think the fact that I gave myself permission to do this and that it was needed and necessary in order to fully recover was what it took.  Here I had books and magazines galore to read and catch up on but did I even open a single one for two weeks?  Nope.

Of course things didn't go "exactly" like I thought they would...I figured I would have a lot of time to myself but that didn't quite happen.  It wasn't a bad thing necessarily but there was a week where I thought I might have to scream because I just wanted everyone out of the house.  But you adjust...

I also thought I would spend more time writing but as you can see from the date of the last post, that didn't quite happen here!  It DID however happen on my laptop.  I started keeping a daily record of what I was doing, who I had heard from, etc. so I would remember what day it was!  It was really a bullet point list of things but before I knew it - it was more of a journal.  I'm loving the fact that I went ahead and did this and also kept up with it for almost the entire 7 weeks...I did kinda slack off the last week a bit.  But it's a good record of what happened during this time! 

I mean, typically I can always look back to my trusty notebook that I carry around to see what was going in work-wise and personal-wise.  I just wasn't keeping up with the notebook during this time...it was just nice to have the laptop next to me and write as I felt like it - plus, I can type so much faster than I can WRITE!

I've been back to work for awhile now and I miss journaling.  I need to build in some time each day to do this...and I want to update this blog more often too.

So I'm back in the saddle...just trying to trot for awhile...the galloping takes a bit more stamina and I'm not quite up to that yet!

Letting Go...

A week from tomorrow I'm having surgery.  It's something that has been planned for a few months - so it's expected which is "nice" I suppose.  It has given me time to plan and go forward on my terms in a way.  But still, it's surgery and I'll be needing time to recouperate and rest.  Which leads me to the crazy few months I've been dealing with...

March is a busy month in terms of nonprofit events and family celebrations.  In additon to two birthdays - my sons and husbands...March seems to be the month that everyone thinks is ideal for signature and fundraising events.  It must be because it's been nonstop since the first of March really.  Not that these events are fun and worthy...they are... but job related work continues and in my case, the "pre-work" to get 6 weeks worth of projects out of the way so that nothing interferes with my time off and distracts me from the time I need to recoup.

Throughout this time I've actually been excited about this time off...the time that I'll be taking to disconnect with work and nonprofit work...and reconnect with myself  - body and soul.  It's sad to think that surgery is what it's taking for me to take the time and get serious about my health.  We all know what we need to do to take care of ourselves but I think it takes a huge push sometimes to really get to that point.  I've joked about this for years..."just let me have some minor surgery or something so I can have some time off!!!"  I'd say this to friends, we'd laugh about it and move on.  But here it is...

I've felt myself starting to let go in the past two weeks.  I'm a little more impatient with people...I'm tired and drained of energy...I'm not as focused...  I'm also a bit more emotional about random things.  Today alone I needed to focus on an event that I'm highly involved in this Thursday...and yet there was constant interruption and then a nagging headache that kept me in the office until almost 7:30 this evening. 

Yes...it's time to let go.

So in further anticipation, this past weekend I worked my tail off to get the house in order - get things organized - down to the basket I keep by my bedside that has books in it I don't intent to read any time soon.  Those have been replaced with the most current magazines, a few books I DO want to read, and other things I want to have close at hand.  Drawers and surfaces have been cleaned off...grooming appointment for my sweet puppy has been scheduled.  You name it and I've probably done it or am in the process of getting it done.  And Monday morning I was looking for the license tag of the truck that ran me over!  I hurt so bad!  Further confirmation that timing is right for this surgery.

This Friday at work...the out of office assistant message goes on my email account, emails have already gone out to folks to let them know I'm "out of pocket" until the first part of June and all other housekeeping items have been farmed out and handled.  I'll run down my list to make sure all is in order on Friday.

I have Monday and Tuesday next week off (vacation) to really unwind and ease into this surgery.  Then it's surgery day followed by six weeks to figure out my next step.  No pressure though...reflective time...and maybe more time to write about all this too...I'm so ready...

The Journey to 21...

My son will be 21 in four days...

I don't think it really hit me until I started putting together a slideshow for his birthday party next weekend. Let me back up...it really started when I began going through all the photos I have of him and trying to decide what to include in this slideshow.

I love taking photos. People who know me would say that's an understatement. I used to take 13-15 rolls of film at an event and then drop them off at Costco for development. The manager of the photo center and I are on a first name basis. He was the one who asked me one day "Teresa, when are you going to go digital?" He helped me make that switch sooner than I probably would have. I've never looked back...

So it would be safe to say that I had quite a mountain of photos to select from - some on cd and some that needed scanning. I spent one afternoon going through all the photo albums in the house. Then went through two huge containers of photos and cds that I haven't had a chance to put in order. Here I thought I had everything in order - at least I had a good start at it. By this I mean that I started putting pictures on my Smugmug.com website. That was one of the smartest things I've ever done.

Going through the photos was quite the trip down memory lane. I have one accordion container with all the kids school, sports and daycare photos. I also have pictures of the kids from their first year where I had their pictures made at JCPenney every two months. They change so much the first year...

By the time I had scanned photos and copied photos from the smugmug site and also the home computer I probably had about 400 pictures to narrow down into a slideshow. That's where I had to get creative. Costco has a slideshow deal where you can upload photos and select popular music and they send it to you in a nice dvd container with a photo and title. My daughter used this for her boyfriend last May as a graduation present. It was quick and easy and a very high quality product.

So I ended up with three slideshows...one of Charlie playing soccer through the years, one of Charlie "the early years" and one of Charlie "the journey to 21." Now sorting through and putting the pictures in order was no problem. But going through each one in preview mode...now that was another story. The music and the pictures running through really made me emotional...

The soccer slideshow showed Charlie playing on his first team in what we used to call "magnet ball!" All the kids would be all over the soccer ball...but there was Charlie out ahead of the pack and kicking the goal. The later photos showed him playing in the rec league and finally in high school. I could never get enough of him running up and down the field. He was SO FAST!!! I wish I had been able to use a digital camera during his early years. Then again, I would have had probably a thousand more photos to go through!

In the early years slideshow I placed all the school yearbook pictures up front so you see him from kindergarten through high school...then it starts with random shots of his baby years, toddler years and finally up to around 4th grade. The thing I noticed in all those pictures is what a sweet smile my boy has... He always just wanted to be friends with everyone too. He would meet a kid and an hour later he would call that kid his best friend. Such a heart of gold...

The last slideshow covered pictures from middle school until now. The one thing I regret is not taking more pictures of Charlie when he was in band. We would go to the high school football games and stay through the halftime show to watch Charlie play the tuba. I don't think I was aggressive enough in those days to just walk right up and take photos. I should have been. But I did have a decent supply and the photos I have show him having the time of his life with the tuba section! I also hardly have any photos of him as a Boy Scout. I know they are around but I couldn't locate many at all. Again, I wasn't the one going on the trips with him or campouts. Another lost opportunity but there were a handful of photos with his best friend Kendall so I included those.

Thank goodness for facebook and the photos I found there! Many of Charlie with friends from church youth group, his car friends and others. I made use of many of those...

The journey to 21 in pictures is like the journey to 21 in person, I would imagine. There are moments you wish you could have captured on film but didn't but you have good memories of those times. Likewise, I'm sure there are times in Charlie's life he wishes he had done something differently. Hopefully though, he learned something from that decision or he has good memories of an event or time. I hope when he looks back on his first 21 years and that he is happy about the journey so far.

I'm so proud of him and looking forward to capturing the next 21 years in photos and memories...

Accountability

I've been wanting to post for several days now but I think I'm having a case of writers block. Well, maybe not quite writers block. I have things I want to get off my mind and onto my blog and I start to formalize them in my mind while I'm driving home from work, or walking my puppy after the 10 o'clock news...but when I sit down to write I just go blank lately.

Some of this has to be due to the fact that I haven't accomplished as much of the yearly planning in January as I had wanted to. I mean, my Christmas tree and inside decorations are still up!!! What the heck??? It's not like I have family members just standing at the ready to help me either. Now if I get it started then I know I'll get the help I need, but the idea of actually being self-motivating and seeing husby or youngest daughter or oldest son get it started without me...well, let's just say that hasn't happened to date and I'm not holding my breath! I took a look at my master "to do" list this afternoon that I created to hold me accountable and changed the "take the tree down" target date of completion from January to February! Oh well! It's a work in progress...

All this reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend this afternoon at work. He has just gone on a board that I've been on in the past. During their planning session a few weeks ago he mentioned it would be good to have an accountability committee or a way to keep everyone on task with what they've agreed to do to move the organization forward. The response he got was that they are all adults and they all know what to do to get the job done. But is that really the case? I mean, how many of us are on committees or involved with extra-curricular activities, been given tasks that we say "no problem" to and then when it comes to crunch time, make an excuse about why the job hasn't been done?

This has happened to me only rarely...because I don't like the way it feels to let people down AND if I say I'm going to do something then I'm going to get it done!!! If anything, I usually end up being the one sending the emails, making the phone calls and trying to keep everything on task so that the job gets done, the event happens or the party is a success. Of course, on the flip side, I DO like organizing things! I feel like a project manager on so many levels with things I'm involved in and like to approach things in this manner.

I think part of my problem this year is that I got a little derailed in January. There is always a little family drama going on and it tends to be attracted to the month of January. This year, thankfully, it was on a lesser scale but still affected my time nontheless. My cousin and her husband and kids are about to lose their house due to complete and utter stupidity. It's a long story but suffice it to say, they had inherited money from my aunt that based on the budget that my husby prepared for them, among other things, should have lasted them and kept them in the house for at least 3 years. They lasted less than a year on the plan. So throughout this mess there have been numerous conversations with my mother about how far we need to go to help them, getting through some of my grandmother's things that are still in the house and then trying to get them to pack and look for a place to live.

What a mess...it's sad, upsetting, infuriating and assinine...all at the same time. Husby and I have taken a huge step back with all this and my cousin's husband's family - his two sisters and their husbands - have stepped up to "help" or intervene. I don't even know what the right word for this is anymore. It's crazy to think so much needs to be done for two "adults" in their early 30s with three children under the age of 5. The problem is actually that too much has ALWAYS been done for them...all along and they don't know anything else. They have never been held accountable for their actions...they've always been bailed out.

The other side of this is my mother's feelings and need for closure with her mother and her sister and their things/memories. It's another long story but the short readers digest condensed version is that my grandmother had been living with my aunt for so many years that their belongings were so merged that it was difficult to know who owned what. Mom never had the opportunity to really go through her belongings when grandmother passed away and felt uncomfortable asking her sister to do this since grandmother lived with my aunt for so long.

Which leads us to two Saturdays in January. One Saturday was spent going through the house helping mom look through the dishes, doiles and other things in the house - at least what we could get through since the house was such a wreck. The next Saturday I agreed to go back with mom to get through the garage since we knew there were other "grandmother" items boxed up in there. It took us all day... It was like an episode of Clean House and it bordered on the "Hoarders" series. We couldn't even walk into the garage at the beginning. By the time we finished there was a clear trail to the kitchen door and we had everything sorted by what to keep, what to sell and what to throw out. It still amazes me that garages or rooms or complete houses get to this point. I mean, bags of mail, toy parts, books, cds, clothing, etc. were shoved into large plastic bags, sealed and then tossed into the garage. And I don't mean one or two bags either. There were so many...it was mind-boggling....... Again, no accountability so let's just toss it into a huge room and maybe no one will notice.
So, just when I thought I was back on track with my own plans to get 2010 in order I took that tumble down the stairs which derailed me for about a week... And...here we are in February.

I think my best bet for this short month is going to be keeping that master "to do" list in front of me so that I hold myself accountable for the things "I" want to do. I'm getting all the things for everyone else done...that never seems to be a problem.

I've got some lost time to make up for, don't I?

Repacking my bags...

...so I've decided to change the name of my blog from "Year of Living Stressfully" to "Repacking my bags...lightening my load for the journey ahead."

When I first started blogging "officially" - I had the need to put on "paper" the things that were going through my mind that were...well... stressing me out! I figured I could get it down on the blog, get it out of my head, and essentially lighten my load in that way. I does help... unloading your mind of the multitude of things that consume you every day.

Over the course of the past year and a half though, I began wondering if the blog title was something I really wanted to keep. I mean, some could say that "stress" is the new normal! I've heard and even said that many times lately. But the word "stress" is getting old, isn't it? I mean, it's like the word "busy." I really do loathe that word..."hey, I know you're BUSY but could you..." OR "my life is so busy right now I just can't breathe!" Busy, busy, busy!!! Isn't that the sound bees make??? Okay, I'm getting ridiculous now...I know...

The blog name change comes from me wanting to put a more positive light on what I want to do this year...put the important people/places/things in my bags and make the most of this journey I'm on. The focus should be on the journey, shouldn't it? As an adult, don't we know this? Should we be asking "are we there yet?" If we are asking that child-like question then we aren't enjoying the journey very much, are we? I hear people say things like "getting there is half the battle" and that the destination is the reward. I don't agree...I believe the journey is the reward...

I'm making a vow to enjoy the journey...even if my luggage doesn't match.