We Are Better Than This...

This past weekend I attended, along with my husband and daughter, a candlelight interfaith vigil to protest an anti-immigrant bill that was signed into law by the governor of my state.  This misguided law goes into effect Sept 1st and if you believe the comments on media stories you would think we were back in the 60s and that everyone in the state was anti-immigrant. 

The day the governor signed the bill, with the state representatives who sponsored it smiling broadly next to him, I felt sick to my stomach.  Comments ranged from "this will send them all back where they belong" to "this will create jobs for more Alabamians."  The pure mean-spirited nature of the comments and personal attacks were hard to read at times.  It is being called the toughest illegal immigration bill in the US, modeled after the Arizona law but supposed to be foolproof when it hits the courts.  Again...people smiling broadly like this is something to be proud of in a state where race relations and violations of civil rights are well known.  People across the US once again are looking at Alabama as the epicenter of discrimination - only this time it is against our "brown" brothers and sisters.  Haters spouting that we are a nation of laws and they must be enforced...quick to forget that just 50 to 60 short years ago segregation was the law of the land and it was clearly unjust.  It seems incredible to look back at such a short time ago and think people thought that was okay.  I'm sure people asked themselves then...WHO are we that we would think this is right...clearly we are better than this.  And many set out to change things...and were successful.

St. Peter Apostle Catholic Church leads the marchers out of Linn Park...

Clearly we are better than this once again. People can't truly believe this law is just.  If you lived in Alabama in the 60s - like my husband did - you have to have a perspective that this is wrong.  Do we really want to go through all that again?

Well the march on Saturday evening set out to prove we have learned something from our history and we ARE better than this.  The march was organized by the faith community...and churches of all denominations were present and denounced this law as morally wrong.  Organizers expected about a thousand people but clearly word got out and people - feeling like they had to do "something" - showed up in bigger numbers.  I think the final estimate was about 2,500 attendees.

Benedictine nuns- some from out of state - joined the march.

And what a sight it was to see...marchers were asked to wear white shirts and bring a candle.  Churches were asked to bring their banners but other signs were discouraged.  Families came out in full force...it brought tears to my eyes to see the little children - so sweet and innocent....leading the marchers, holding candles and riding on the shoulders of their dads...

The crowd was diverse too with about half being Hispanic but the other half was quite a mix.  I'm sure there were many documents AND undocumented who would have liked to have been there but were afraid and I can't blame them.  The police were present but they were there to make sure the marchers were safe and the Spanish language radio stations tried to get that word out.  Still...fear is real right now...you could see it in some of the marchers eyes and you could hear it in the stories being told to one another throughout the evening.

Marchers re-enter Linn Park after walking peacefully through the
streets of Birmingham, Alabama

Anna Marie and Eddie after the march.



Me with Anna Marie after the march...



Afterwards we went to dinner with Freddy and Isabel and all talked about the march and the law and how it will be challenged.  Isabel mentioned how the one thing missing in her mind is that during the 60's the marchers had songs to sing.  She said "we don't have a song.  We need a song." 

She's right...music unifies and in this case we do need something - a song, a slogan...something that people can grab on to and pull us together.  Maybe others are thinking the same thing and just maybe this will be something organic that grows from further marches and protests to this dreadful law.



A marcher holds her candle up at the end of the march during a closing prayer...



We ARE better than this...I think we proved that Saturday night at Linn Park and through the streets of Birmingham. 

A precious little boy works to keep his candle lit during the march...

Happy Birthday dad...

Today my dad, Praxedis Sotelo Zuniga, would have been 88 years old.  He's been gone 9 years now.  I can't believe it's been that long.  I miss him... 

When I woke up this morning, I was feeling a little blue.  The biggest event of my year was this past weekend and it was thankfully, a big success.  I took Sunday to recoup and do practically nothing and then worked on event wrap-up part of the today.  I thought I would take part of the day and spend with my mother but she had already made plans so I didn't push.  But after that conversation with her, I noticed a sadness coming over me.  I had already been crying this morning.  It was weird...I created a photo video for a friend of her birthday celebration last week where she honored her cancer doctors and raised a ton of money for cancer research.  I posted it on facebook last night and had a watched it several times until I got it just the way I wanted it.  So, it's not like I hadn't seen it!  But when I watched it and read all the comments, I tears started to fall...

Shortly after, I made my way to the memorial gardens where dad is.  I took my camera to take pictures of the grounds since it's been a while since I was there.  There were old plastic flowers by the "boulder" - as we call it - where dad's cremains are, and I pulled out then out and discarded them.  I left the plastic cone that held the flowers and filled it with fallen leaves so it wouldn't look odd.  On the way to the gardens, I stopped to buy a Virgen de Guadalupe candle to place next to the boulder.  When I was cleaning up around the boulder there was a naturally made cross that was on the rock.  I don't know how it got there - who left it - but I moved it over on top of dad's name plate. 

Then I had a little chat with dad.  I wish he had lived long enough to see the first Fiesta event in 2003.  I always wonder what he would have thought about it.  I would have liked to have seen him walk around and experience the event.  In his heyday, when he took photos, I wonder what he would have captured about the event - what he would have focused on and how many pictures he would have taken.  I'm sure I would have given him a run for his money on that one!  But really...he had such an eye for detail and beauty in his photos so I would have enjoyed seeing the event through his eyes.

I left after a short chat with dad and I was crying again.  But I was remembering some of the funny things about dad - things that he would say - "dadism" if you will and I was laughing too. 

I miss you dad...

Tale as old as time...

There's a scene in the animated movie "Beauty and the Beast" where the beast and Belle are dancing in the ballroom.  Angela Lansbury is singing "tale as old as time" and Belle is twirling on the dancefloor with the help of her partner - the Beast.  A commercial for the re-release of this Disney animated video came on TV the night before last and I "knew" it was on but wasn't really paying much attention to it...

Eddie said to me..."that was your favorite part."

Me:  "what?"

Eddie:  "of the movie - you always liked that part where Belle's dress twirls around."

Me:  (smiling) "yep"

How did Eddie remember this?  I had to think for a minute before remembering all this myself.  But he's right about it...there was always something about the animation and the way the gown flowed that I loved to watch.  And believe me, we watched that movie a lot!  It was a favorite of Anna Marie.  I just wonder what made him remember this particular little fact from the past. 

I have this black ballroom type gown that I've always loved.  I can't get into it right now!...but maybe again one day.  Anyway, it's one of those dresses that flows and when you dance it swirls and just makes you feel beautiful.  We went to the Heart Ball a while back at Vestavia Country Club and I got on the dance floor later in the evening and just twirled and twirled.  Sure, I'd had a little wine but felt perfectly fine.  Eddie kept telling me to stop twirling but I just couldn't...I was hooked on twirling that night!   And the way the dress shifted when I would suddently stop and start twirling the other direction.  Maybe he was remembering that night too when he saw the Beauty and the Beast commercial.  I don't know...

What makes us remember certain things about people, places and things?  That is always fascinating to me.  I mean, you have four sisters in a family experiencing the same thing and we all have different recollections of the same incident.  Everyone's focus is on something different, other details and what not.  I guess that's why it's good to pool your memories and share them with one another.

I remember after my dad died and me and two of my sisters were going through drawers in my parent's garage.  There were a number of things in one drawer that belonged to dad.  One item was a dark blue hankerchief with a few small white stripes.  I remember that hankerchief so well...  We were living in Puerto Rico at the time.  I had a cold and was sniffling in the car on our way to school.   Dad would drive us every day because there was no bus system there.  I must have been pretty miserable and dad handed me that hankerchief to take to school with me that day.  After that, whenever I needed a hankerchief, that was the one I would use.  I hadn't seen it in years when it turned up in that box in the garage with a bunch of others.  Now, it could have very easily been scooped up with other generic type items and shipped off to Goodwill.  But lucky for me, I saw it there...briefly shared the story with my sisters and then tucked it away in my purse to take home with me.  They had no idea...and even though they were happy to see items that belonged to my dad in that box, simply because they belonged to dad and they knew he had used them...I was fortunate enough to remember something specific about one of the items.

The hankerchief is in the family room cabinet with dad's rosary and next to a picture of him in his T-bird car.  The black ballroom gown is in the front closet in the foyer.  The memories are tucked away in my head and now written in this blog.  I want to get more of these memories down on paper.  I also want to know what memories are in Eddie's head...his memory is always so much better than mine too...

Another short detour...

A funny thing happened on the way to the weekend....I ended up needing a massage and a heating pad.  So much for the list of things to get done today...once again put on the back burner.  Combine that with taking a Claritin tablet last night...I don't know about those meds.  I always end up feeling worse the next day.  Groggy and not quite up to speed. 

I was getting out of the car yesterday after work and I suddenly felt a pain shoot across my left shoulder-blade and up my neck.  What fun...we were getting ready to go see Emily's opening night of her musical and it just slowed me down a bit.  When I woke up this morning it was not only achy and more painful but my head and eyes felt swollen and I couldn't really turn my head too far left.  I was lucky enough to get a massage appointment around 11 then...

The massage therapist was excellent.  She really talked to me about what was hurting, etc.  I can't remember anyone really working all the pressure points up and down my neck.  People always hear you say you are having a masssage and say to you "oh that feels so good!"  In this case, it really didn't.  It didn't even "hurt so good" as I've said before.  I mean those pressure points are sore already and then add the constant pressure she was adding...OUCH!  The therapist told me the base of my neck is pretty knotted up on the left side.  No wonder it hurt so bad!  She told me to use heat when I got home and that I would be sore but should feel better tomorrow.

At this point I've been on heat off and on most of the day.  It took awhile to get comfortable on the couch.  Of course, my pup Lucy had to get right up there with me.  She's sitting on the cushion right now while I watch a movie and write.  All the "stuff" swirling in my head all afternoon has finally slowed down a bit.  Thankfully.  I did want to get some paperwork (always paperwork) done, my car cleaned out of paperwork - geez...in an age of computers and laptops where does all the paperwork come from?  It just grows and grows...

I wanted to see Emily's musical again tonight.  I was going to go help at the theatre and be there.  The show was amazing last night.  I can't believe what this theatre company was able to do in a very short period of time with young people.  The opening number alone was worth the price of admission.  I have to say that between this performance and last year's performance of High School Musical II, Emily has really grown and looks so seasoned.  I was so proud watching her last night on stage.  She is really loving musical theatre and she just shines when she is on stage.  I'll be there to see her tomorrow and get chillbumps as I watch her perform.

Right now I'm wishing I were still on medical leave so I could just keep that clear mindset and write or read or even work on photography.  Right now I feel so far away from that goal of the photography business.  I know once one major event I have the end October is over I'll have time to breathe more and get back to that "clear mind" feeling that I loved so much back in May.  Now I "know" what it feels like and I want to get that feeling back.

But for now better to get some rest and what not before the new week starts because these next few weeks are going to be doozies...

And that's when I "Snapped"

I was at Target this evening and there was a t-shirt with a camera on it with the saying..."and that's when I snapped!"  I thought that was funny...and meaningful!

There have been a few things that have happened lately that lead me to believe that my "second" career(photography) is beckoning me..."come on over....snap to it...don't be negative..."  Okay..those were pretty corny but it's late and I'm tired as I write this...

I've been finding more and more photography blogs and websites and bookmarking them.  I found one the other night on facebook that just fascinated me because the woman is from Atlanta and she's Hispanic.  She has three kids and has some beautiful shots of her kids.  In fact, she in halfway through a year long project where she is taking a photo a day and telling a story of her kids.  I've seen this done before - the 365 photo project theme - but this one is just different.  I'm so drawn in by her photos and the stories they tell.  I am just wanting to devour her website and see what I can learn from her.  Of course, I need the time to do this so I'm just getting it in small doses and pieces. 

Meanwhile, another photographer on facebook - in Birmingham - has just offered a second day long workshop with another photographer where they bring would-be photogs together to talk, exchange ideas and then photograph children and a newborn.  The workshop they just had was well attended according to the pictures online and cost $500.  The one they are offering in February has gone up $25.  Not sure why there change in such a short period of time but regardless, I was excited to see something like this offered locally!  I would love to be a part of one but I know the Feb date is not a good one for me.  And the cost... I'm not sure if this is a good price for something like this or not.  I have to do a little more research into that for sure.

Another part of me is a bit scared to take part in something like this for stupid reasons.  For one, when I saw the photos of the women in the first workshop, they had some amazing camera equipment on them.  I was a bit envious and intimidated, to say the least.  Another reason is that I'm not that up to speed with flash and lighting and shooting manually.  I think you need to have a better understanding of that so you don't go into something like this and feel like you've wasted your investment.  Nothing worse than going into something where "language" is used and you have no clue.  So, it would probably be best to take a class to learn all the bells and whistles on MY camera before setting out to participate in a workshop like this.

At any rate, it's good to know workshops like this are out there and going on...I really need to work that into my schedule soon. 

Miguel and I had a good conversation last week about the photography business we want to start.  He said we need to set some dates and goals or we will never do this.  He's right.  He, of course, if about to have child number two in October and then we get into the holiday season.  Not the best time to get something like this started so we've made a pledge to move on this the first part of 2011. 

Of course, that doesn't mean we can't take a few opportunities as they come along to us.  I've been asked to take photos at an event in September.  I'm sure this would be for free but it's an opportunity nonetheless and it wouldn't hurt to be seen with the camera in a room full of people I know.  And...I've begun taking my camera everywhere I go anyway so what's the harm.  I'm also looking forward to taking photos of Miguel's newborn.  That will be a new experience.  I'm sure he'll be all over that subject too!  And he wants me to take his family photo for their Christmas card like I did last year.  I need him to take ours this year too.  We never got around to it last year - or rather - we never had time last year!  My family is harder to round up than his!

The biggest need right now is getting a better flash for my camera.  Guess I'll be doing a search tomorrow to see what I can find.  And I really want to try creating a 365 photo blog and see where I can go with that...  Now I just need a catchy title...or not...

Emergency Room Adventure

My entire week (last week) was a roller coaster ride of sorts.  I never felt like I was able to finish much and at times every step forward was met with a few steps backwards.  Too many situations/circumstances to mention at the moment and when you get right down to it and what happened on Friday afternoon, it all seems meaningless...let me explain...

I arranged my day to leave around 1 to run a quick errand and then pick up mother and take her to the airport by 2:30 for her flight to Chicago to visit my sister and her family.  As I got into my car I listened to a message from a missed call.  It was the nurse at the high school saying she had Emily in with her and asked me to call her back.  She told me Emily's heart had been racing for about 20 minutes at about 160-180 bpm.  She said Em was calm and not upset or anything and they were trying to bring it down but not having much luck.  She said the next step would be to call the paramedics and see what they could do to help the situation.  I talked to Em and she seemed normal/fine - not excited about it so I wasn't too worried at that point.  I told the nurse I would have the cell phone with me and would wait to hear back on what the paramedics reported. 

Just a few minutes later, one of the paramedics called me and said they thought it would be a good idea to take her on in to the hospital through emergency.  Her heart rate was at 200 bpm so they were making preparations to take her wherever I wanted her to go.  I said St. Vincents since her pediatrician is there.  I was driving that way as we spoke so I said I would go and wait for them to arrive.  Meanwhile, I had a missed call from husby and we finally connected.  He had been contacted too by the nurse and already knew what was going on but didn't know they were about to take Em to the hospital. 

As soon as I pulled into the parking lot at St. Vs...got another call from the medic saying St Vs said to take her directly to Childrens Hospital.  By this time I was getting panicked because I still needed to get mother to the airport and I wanted to be at the hospital when Em arrived.  I called Eddie and told him to go on over to Childrens and I would take care of mother and meet him there. 

The drive to mothers and then to the airport seemed to take 3 hours...on my way there I tried to call Eddie but he didn't answer his phone.  I got mom taken care of and went on to Childrens...didn't know where to park because of all the construction so just went to the regular deck.  Turns out I could have parked right outside the emergency room but wasn't sure how to get there.  I say all this because it just added more and more time to getting to my daughter.  Tried Eddie two more times on the cell and got no answer.  By now I'm REALLY worried because "why isn't he answering?"  Did something happen and did it get worse?  I stayed calm and got to the emergency room and was told Em was in room 10. 

I walked up to the room and there was an empty bed - no Em...no Eddie.  Talk about your heart rate jumping...  There was a Hispanic woman and her son in the same room divided by a curtain.  She saw me walk in and must have sensed my panic and motioned down the hall.  I spoke to her and she said the girl was down the hall in the bathroom.  Okay...starting to calm down now. 

Blood had been taken and other tests ordered and we then were playing the waiting game to see if there was a problem.  I got the full story of Em's adventure and how it started, what the paramedics said and the fact that the emergency room doctor was a hunk.  As soon as she was settled into the emergency room, her heart rate self-corrected.  The paramedics took an EKG while she was in the ambulance so they had something to send the cardiologist.  The one they took when she was at the hospital was normal. 

The hunky doctor (aka "McLovin") came in and said everything looked fine and she would be released as soon as the paperwork was finished up.  We were surprised since the paramedics said she would probably be there overnight.  We were told to schedule a cardiologist appointment - with the one who received her EKG - within 10 days and he would check her out.  Meanwhile...all seemed fine.

Amazing how quickly something - like your day - can change...we went from thinking the worst to driving her home and then on to her musical rehearsal.  She was more worried about missing that rehearsal than anything... It was probably a good distraction for her so she wouldn't worry about her heart rate.  My head was meanwhile spinning with everything that had just happened and trying to shake all the horrible scenarios I had conjured up in my mind that "3 hours" before I could get to her at the hospital.  And all those "other" things I had worried about all week?  Gone from my mind...not important...pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things...

On the way home the clouds were dark and dreary and a little rain was falling.  But I looked up at one point and saw the sun peeking through...it matched my mood at that moment. 

The year so far...2010...

I was looking back on my previous posts and ran across one I called "the year so far..." at the end of July 2009.  After posting a few weeks ago about school starting for the kids and how I use this time of year to get myself organized for the second half, it seemed like a good time to recap and see what has happened to date.  Shall we?

*  Husby and I celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary to get the year started.  We headed for a weekend away at Callaway Gardens in Georgia.  Everything was pretty deserted at the gardens because it was right after Christmas and New Years but that made it all the more special - like we had the whole place to ourselves!  We are planning something big for our 25th....the discussion continues...

*  Cousin drama reared it's ugly head again...long story short...my cousin and her husband managed to squander over $50K that was supposed to help them (and their 3 small children) stay in my aunt's house for 2-1/2 years.  My final act of assistance was really geared toward my mother in the form of helping my cousin clean out her garage so mother could go through my grandmother's things that were in there.  What an ordeal...but it gave my mother some closure on what should have happened when my grandmother passed away.  And who knew we would find my kids' changing table in there?  I thought we had gotten that back...

*  I took a backwards tumble down the basement stairs the end of January and walked away from what could have been a disastrous situation.  I still don't know how I didn't break my neck and I still have a mark on my neck where I landed. 

*  Decided in February this was the year to have a partial hysterectomy after discussion with my gynecologist at my annual visit.  Luckily I was able to plan this for a time when the calendar was somewhat clear.  I was off from April 26th - surgery was April 28th - until June 14th....and it was wonderful.  Although I feel much better I'm still waiting to feel like that "new woman" everyone said I would feel like.  Maybe I was expecting too much.

*  My mother is having a rough year...some physical but some self induced with her tendency to worry and also her feelings of loneliness.  Seems like all this came to a head with the need for a new roof.  Mind you... there was a storm this spring and then the roofing companies came out of the woodwork going to homes in our area and "looking" for work saying there was hail damage, etc.  Most of mother's neighbors are getting new roofs and she isn't...her insurance company said she didn't have damage.  Of course, this flew all over her because she has had leaks and damage to her ceiling for some time now.  Another long story short... everyone is getting something she is not and there is a feeling (which I can understand) that everything is always so hard for her to come by.  I would feel the same way.  But this seems to have been the tipping point for her in worrying about her future and the thought she should move to an apartment to get out from under house repairs, etc.  Oy.....  The reality is her house payment is so much less than apartment rent would be and she also has equity which she will need later once she can no longer live there.  There is more, of course, but too much to say here.  It's been a bit trying...

*  Took a step forward in creating a photography business with my friend Miguel.  We shot a wedding in May as a favor to a friend of mine.  That was fun...and a little nerve-raking all at the same time!  I've shot pics of a friend and her newborn at the hospital and then created a video to go along with it.  That was fun and rewarding.  I know Miguel is looking at equipment we might need to get this business going - hopefully not too much.  The immediate need for me would be a better flash for my camera.  Meanwhile, I take my camera everywhere I go and take photos, post them and let folks see what I can do.  I get great feedback...and it makes me feel great too!  It may be the beginning of the year before we get this off the ground.  Miguel and his wife will have baby number two in October and I'm sure it will be an adjustment going from one child to two!  I remember THOSE days!  But at least we are talking about this and making plans.  We both have our day jobs which pay the bills...this would be our passion job and we'll map out the time.  It's important to both of us.

The family at Charlie's 21st Birthday

*  We had two milestone birthdays this year. Charlie turned 21 in March and we had a surprise party for him at La Brisa.  It turned out great and I know he was excited about the turnout.  I was able to create 3 videos - one of his early years, one of the "second" half of his life and one of his sports life.  We showed them throughout the party and then Maria and Juan at La Brisa surprised him with a birthday "shot" - it was rather amusing.  I was so grateful for facebook throughout the planning because I was able to get in touch with his friends and extend invitations without his knowledge.  Worked out great!  Then in May (while I was off on medical leave), I planned Emily's Sweet 16 birthday here at the house.  She had a great group of friends here and thankfully, I had Anna Marie and Eddie here to help get everything pulled together in the basement for this event. 

Emily with her Sweet 16 Birthday Cake

*  Not to leave Anna Marie out of this recap...she started her second year at Troy University on July 30th - actually that was move in date and sorority rush started that evening.  It was just me and Anna moving her in but she had everything so organized that we got everything taken care of rather quickly!  We celebrated her 19th birthday the week before she left and she enjoyed her actual birthday at Troy with a visit from Ryan.  Things are just getting started at Troy but she was happy to be back and I'm glad she loves college so much.

Anna with her new RayBans!

*  I am in year 8 of the Hispanic festival that I helped create back in 2003.  The board of directors decided to move the festival from downtown to my town this year but it took awhile to get the move confirmed and all.  We also did not rehire the firm that has handled the event for us since its inception - another long story, but we did hire someone from their firm to manage the event for us in its new location.  The event has been scaled back due to the lack of time to seek sponsorships - but people have been contacting me for months wondering what is going on and when it's going to take place.  We are 9 weeks from the event now...I have panic attacks every other day but I know we have a good plan in place and we are working it....  Meanwhile, we deal with rumors and people who have no connection to the event, spreading rumors that it isn't going to take place.  This isn't good for sponsorships, of course, and it borders on sabotage at times.  It's just the nature of the beast I guess, but it DOES get old.  Sometimes I'd like to be like Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes and just back my car into some of these folks because "I'm older and have more insurance"...  Other times I'd just like to slap some folks...

These are the highlights...4 more months to go and there is a LOT going on too.  Looking forward to a short trip to Savannah with husby and a few couples over Labor Day Weekend.  Then there is my 10th annual cookie exchange party!  That will be loads of fun...plus there are quite a few folks who want to be invited this year because of the pics I posted on facebook last December. 

See...I take great photos!