Today my dad, Praxedis Sotelo Zuniga, would have been 88 years old. He's been gone 9 years now. I can't believe it's been that long. I miss him...
When I woke up this morning, I was feeling a little blue. The biggest event of my year was this past weekend and it was thankfully, a big success. I took Sunday to recoup and do practically nothing and then worked on event wrap-up part of the today. I thought I would take part of the day and spend with my mother but she had already made plans so I didn't push. But after that conversation with her, I noticed a sadness coming over me. I had already been crying this morning. It was weird...I created a photo video for a friend of her birthday celebration last week where she honored her cancer doctors and raised a ton of money for cancer research. I posted it on facebook last night and had a watched it several times until I got it just the way I wanted it. So, it's not like I hadn't seen it! But when I watched it and read all the comments, I tears started to fall...
Shortly after, I made my way to the memorial gardens where dad is. I took my camera to take pictures of the grounds since it's been a while since I was there. There were old plastic flowers by the "boulder" - as we call it - where dad's cremains are, and I pulled out then out and discarded them. I left the plastic cone that held the flowers and filled it with fallen leaves so it wouldn't look odd. On the way to the gardens, I stopped to buy a Virgen de Guadalupe candle to place next to the boulder. When I was cleaning up around the boulder there was a naturally made cross that was on the rock. I don't know how it got there - who left it - but I moved it over on top of dad's name plate.
Then I had a little chat with dad. I wish he had lived long enough to see the first Fiesta event in 2003. I always wonder what he would have thought about it. I would have liked to have seen him walk around and experience the event. In his heyday, when he took photos, I wonder what he would have captured about the event - what he would have focused on and how many pictures he would have taken. I'm sure I would have given him a run for his money on that one! But really...he had such an eye for detail and beauty in his photos so I would have enjoyed seeing the event through his eyes.
I left after a short chat with dad and I was crying again. But I was remembering some of the funny things about dad - things that he would say - "dadism" if you will and I was laughing too.
I miss you dad...
Acceptance
9 years ago
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