I look back now and marvel at how quickly this year has gone by. I remember a time when I kept a calendar and every night before I went to sleep I would write a few key points for that date - they could be simply where I went to lunch, who I went out with, if I worked out or a short glimpse into what I was feeling. It's interesting (to me) to look back on all that now and see what was going on in my mind and in my life.
Then around the time I got married I was keeping a journal on the computer. I would write every single day and then print out the days activities and put them in my Daytimer calendar. One of my close friends/co-workers used to call it my "Doogie Houser" journal. At the time I thought "who in the world would want to see this stuff - how mundane!" But I'm so glad I did it - because "I" was really the audience (as well as my son someday) and because it was all about my son when he was born, when he was a baby and the things we did together. So I guess I was into "blogging" before blogging was cool!
Nowadays I don't go anywhere without my notebook. I use it for work and personal and write everything in it to keep up with work related meetings and personal things that I have to do. I can go through a notebook a month if I'm not careful! There is so much to write down and I find that when I unload thoughts from my head to paper (or computer), that it helps me think better. Clears the mind. I think we are always afraid that if we let go of certain thoughts that they'll be gone forever. So that's why we keep them around but the reality is we clutter our minds and it just makes life more stressful. Unloading is helpful!
So where am I going with all this? I believe we record our lives in many ways. It's just that these days there are more ways than ever to do that. I would love to be able to spend time blogging all day but the truth is that I don't have the time and sometimes I don't have the energy. But, I know I have my notebook with me so I capture things that way.
Another way is through emails. I think back to the year leading up to my father's death. I'm the oldest of four daughters and my youngest sister and I have what I feel is a unique bond. My sister and I would talk or email about every day during that time and I would pour out my frustrations and fears surrounding my parents along with other feelings to her via email. She would encourage me , laugh with me and sympathize on other things. It was such a release. Dad died June 1, 2001 and my sister and I planned a trip to New Mexico to visit his hometown and his sister - we just "had" to go and the trip was planned for September 14, 2001. Well...you know what happened. September 11th. While watching the events of the day on the tv at my office I went back to my desk at one point and had an email from my sister with one line..."what is happening?" Of course, we all know now what happened.
So between my father's death, the feelings leading up to that, September 11th and then the eventual trip we made to New Mexico - which finally ended up happening on his October 25th birthdate...I had a huge number of emails from my sister. So what better Christmas present? I had saved everything and printed all the emails out and put them in a binder for her. Naturally, reading through all the emails was an emotional roller coaster for me! She felt the same way when she realized what I had done with the emails.
Back to the question...should I change the name of this blog? I've been thinking about that for about a week now. Stress is a norm in our lives these days, isn't it? I think about it many times a day but I push through and find ways to deal. This blog is just one way I deal. My notebook is another... I think I'll keep the blog name...for now...because I'm a believer that it's all about how you react to the stress in your life that makes you the person you are.
And for me...so far so good...I'll keep "dealing"....for now...
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