Stressful year is "almost" up...do I need to think of a new blog title??

When I started this blog almost a year ago it was during what I "thought" was a very stressful time in my life. I was looking at writing as an outlet but unfortunately I wasn't able to write as much as I thought. Instead, I discovered facebook about the same time and that started taking much of my time and energy. Don't get me wrong...I love the facebook community and what it has offered to me as an outlet. I'm just sorry I didn't capture more in this blog about the stressful "stuff" that was going on at the time.

I look back now and marvel at how quickly this year has gone by. I remember a time when I kept a calendar and every night before I went to sleep I would write a few key points for that date - they could be simply where I went to lunch, who I went out with, if I worked out or a short glimpse into what I was feeling. It's interesting (to me) to look back on all that now and see what was going on in my mind and in my life.

Then around the time I got married I was keeping a journal on the computer. I would write every single day and then print out the days activities and put them in my Daytimer calendar. One of my close friends/co-workers used to call it my "Doogie Houser" journal. At the time I thought "who in the world would want to see this stuff - how mundane!" But I'm so glad I did it - because "I" was really the audience (as well as my son someday) and because it was all about my son when he was born, when he was a baby and the things we did together. So I guess I was into "blogging" before blogging was cool!

Nowadays I don't go anywhere without my notebook. I use it for work and personal and write everything in it to keep up with work related meetings and personal things that I have to do. I can go through a notebook a month if I'm not careful! There is so much to write down and I find that when I unload thoughts from my head to paper (or computer), that it helps me think better. Clears the mind. I think we are always afraid that if we let go of certain thoughts that they'll be gone forever. So that's why we keep them around but the reality is we clutter our minds and it just makes life more stressful. Unloading is helpful!

So where am I going with all this? I believe we record our lives in many ways. It's just that these days there are more ways than ever to do that. I would love to be able to spend time blogging all day but the truth is that I don't have the time and sometimes I don't have the energy. But, I know I have my notebook with me so I capture things that way.

Another way is through emails. I think back to the year leading up to my father's death. I'm the oldest of four daughters and my youngest sister and I have what I feel is a unique bond. My sister and I would talk or email about every day during that time and I would pour out my frustrations and fears surrounding my parents along with other feelings to her via email. She would encourage me , laugh with me and sympathize on other things. It was such a release. Dad died June 1, 2001 and my sister and I planned a trip to New Mexico to visit his hometown and his sister - we just "had" to go and the trip was planned for September 14, 2001. Well...you know what happened. September 11th. While watching the events of the day on the tv at my office I went back to my desk at one point and had an email from my sister with one line..."what is happening?" Of course, we all know now what happened.

So between my father's death, the feelings leading up to that, September 11th and then the eventual trip we made to New Mexico - which finally ended up happening on his October 25th birthdate...I had a huge number of emails from my sister. So what better Christmas present? I had saved everything and printed all the emails out and put them in a binder for her. Naturally, reading through all the emails was an emotional roller coaster for me! She felt the same way when she realized what I had done with the emails.

Back to the question...should I change the name of this blog? I've been thinking about that for about a week now. Stress is a norm in our lives these days, isn't it? I think about it many times a day but I push through and find ways to deal. This blog is just one way I deal. My notebook is another... I think I'll keep the blog name...for now...because I'm a believer that it's all about how you react to the stress in your life that makes you the person you are.

And for me...so far so good...I'll keep "dealing"....for now...

"T" Time...

I've started taking some "T-Time" for myself. In case you are wondering, my first name begins with a "T"...so instead of saying "me" time which always sounds so selfish to me I dubbed it "T-Time"

It started on Saturday when I was suddenly faced with a day with nothing really planned. How did THAT happen? So, I put on my stretchy pants, an XL t-shirt, my running shoes and my ipod and headed to the rec center. Spent about an hour and a half on the eliptical trainer and then lifting weights. AAAHHHHH.............. Yeah, I remember that feeling....tired but invigorated...

Then Sunday I spent the day cleaning the house - mainly my bedroom, bathroom and doing the laundry - and unpacking from not one...but TWO trips that I had recently taken. I always do this...I leave the suitcase on the floor next to my bed for about two weeks and then finally bring myself to unpack. I still haven't quite figured that out yet. Anyway, there was also a bag from a trip to the lake that was packed with...well...stuff you need at the lake! All unpacked...put away... and now trying to make sure I do a little every night so I have time for..."T-TIME!"

So Monday after multiple meetings at work, I left work at a decent hour and headed back to the rec center. AAAHHHHHH....and OOOOOOWWWWWWW.....yes, it left me tired and invigorated and SORE! That abdominal machine really got to me. Heck! All of it got to me.

Tuesday...another full day of meetings and then transporting my youngest child to and from a rehearsal late in the afternoon. Between the transporting...you guessed it...headed back to the rec center for some more "T Time".... Crazy busy though at the rec center so didn't get the eliptical machine I wanted. Instead got one that kicked my butt which probably wasn't such a bad thing, walked a mile, lifted some more weights and hit the abdominal machine. Then took the dog for a walk when I got home and thought I was going to have to call for reinforcements when I started back up the steep hill to my house! Either that or have my sweet puppy pull me up the hill.

So here I sit very proud of myself for releasing not the hounds but the endorphins to keep me going this week. The goal? Do some type of physical activity every day through Labor Day weekend. That's a LOT of "T-Time!"

But I deserve it...and maybe I won't buy that punching bag I had my eye on after all...

When did this happen...?

As I listened to my 17 year old daughter talk to me and my husband this afternoon I had to ask myself...when did this happen?...when did she get so mature and when did she learn to tell such compelling stories? I know every parent goes through this but when it happens to you, it's always different, isn't it?

Anna and I spent the day together shopping. Nothing unusual about that - you might be thinking - but this was shopping for college...and she leaves in just two days. Today it was all about stocking the dorm room with toiletry items, snack foods, and school supplies. She was a little freaked out about the stuff we loaded into the buggy and how much it was going to cost. She is a lot like I was at her age with her concerns about the cost of things to her parents... But I told her this would get her started so she wouldn't have to worry about all this for a little while. Sorority rush starts the day after she arrives and I have no idea what happens with all that. I didn't go through any of that and I like to say it's "Greek to me!" She's been getting help from her dad in this area since he was in a fraternity and has a wide network to draw from here. Did I mention we had some great conversation about managing money throughout the shopping trip today- in addition to the value of things and when to buy trendy vs. buying quality? We did and I feel good about sending her off to school with the knowledge that she will be watchful over her spending.

Anyway, after the large haul from Walmart, we headed home to start the packing process. We have boxes in the basement and boxes, bags and other containers upstairs in the hallway. I'm not sure what more we have to do at this point. I'll need to check in the morning but we are hoping to get it all taken care of by tomorrow so we can relax a little and just load the car and go on Tuesday morning...bright and early.

Tomorrow is Anna's 18th birthday party (a week early) with a small group of friends. This is another transition she is making. Her group from high school was so big for so long but started splintering around spring break. It was bound to happen and as much as it was expected, it was still a little sad to see. All sadness aside, some of the drama involved was...let's just say...over the top and I'm glad that is over with! But through her university's online network, she has been able to connect with other girls in our area all going to school together and they've started having dinner together once a week for the past month or so... It's been great to watch the new friendships forming and tomorrow I believe most of these new friends (with a few old faithfuls) will be at the house to help Anna celebrate her 18th birthday a little early.

I look forward to being a fly on the wall and listening to the conversations these "young women" have tomorrow evening... I can imagine their mothers and fathers are asking themselves the same question I had today...when did this happen? When did they grow up and how did it all go by so quickly? I'm doing my best to focus on the excitement of all this - going "away" to college - something that I didn't experience but am so happy she gets to do.

She wrote on my facebook wall last night..."it's gonna be an awesome day tomorrow...so get off the book of face and go to bed!" I had to laugh...but she was right...it was an awesome day today!